4 min read

on complaining

If you were to list down the subjects that you talk about in a day, I am quite sure, a large chunk of it would have to do with complaints and disappointments. And this makes sense. We all have grievances that need to be let out every now and then. Doing so makes us feel relaxed and we get the much-needed assurance that we are not alone, that there are others around us who feel the same way.

So, it is not that bad, right?

Yes, but not that right either. Because every time we cut to a new day we find ourselves indulged in discussing the same themes again, so much so that this subconsciously becomes second nature to us. At every casual gathering, in every meet up with our friends, we ultimately get hitched to the same iteration:

  1. Did you hear / see / notice…
  2. It is / was so…
  3. It would have been / could be so much better if they had instead…
  4. I wonder why they didn’t / don’t realize that…
  5. Oh, forget it, they are all the same…they don’t really care…

The trigger for this discourse could be the day’s political headline, or some grapevine at work, or a thing at home – ‘They’ could be the political figures like Trumps, Putins, Mays, Modis and Khans, or the supervisors and managers, or the wives and husbands and parents, or the public at large! And no, this doesn’t end here. This is just the beginning of a never-ending nosedive into an abyss of discontentment and blames which, more often than not, ends in a pitch-black dead end.

Do we even have to talk about such a thing?

Trust me, we do! Because we place ourselves at such an elevated pedestal every time we are at it that we simply ignore a most eligible fact.

Which is?

That we are the very fundamental part of ‘they’! Regardless of what we are sulking about, irrespective of who we choose to pin everything on, we simply just cannot let ourselves go with an ‘all clear’ verdict.

Can you really face yourself in the mirror right now and say out loud while looking in your eyes that you have nothing to do with the wrongs in your country, the issues in your office, the situation in your home, that void in your relationship, this disorder in your life?

Listen man, you are being a bit too harsh now!

Still not enough, I suppose. But okay, I can make up by giving you an anecdote for the happiest life ever:

  1. Wake up every day, look at yourself in the mirror and make different expressions while admiring your beauty. End at a wink (this is important).
  2. Get all tucked up in the new dress you got last week with that perfect hairdo.
  3. Go to work and have a good long chat session with your colleagues about the new styles in market, the new movie, how cute Trudeau looked the other day, what your other friend told you about the guy she has crush on, and everything else you feel like gossiping or complaining about.
  4. Do some work with regular gossip breaks in between.
  5. On your way back stop over to grab a cup from that new coffee shop you heard about.
  6. Listen to your favorite songs and curse every driver who dares to drive in front of you on the road.
  7. Reach home, grab your favorite juice, jump in to the comfort of your bed.
  8. Start off with the next season or watch some random videos here and there, swipe through your social timelines, and pass out.
  9. Repeat!

And there you have it – a life well spent! Does this sound better? Not harsh at all, now, is it?

Reality, unfortunately though, is harsh! At some point in time, each one of us gets slapped hard right across the face with the realization that the answer to all the worries and grievance and complaints we ever had lied nowhere else but inside our own selves.

Life just cannot be spent by putting everything on ‘them’. ‘They’ are not to be blamed for the things you feel bad about in your life. You live in your 'stupid' country. You are an equal part of the society which is stuck in its own paranoia. You work in your 'lame' office. You live in your 'sickening' house with your 'crazy' family. Right on the brink of breaking right now, is your relationship. The one that you are not in control of, is your own f***ing life!

Yes, you are an essential and the most crucial part of literally everything around you. Nothing will work without you, nothing will improve without you. Nothing will evolve on its own if you keep sitting there sipping away your cappuccino with legs crossed, gesturing away at the issues of this world like one of Odin’s sons, passing comments from up there at stupid lowlife earthlings!

Okay now calm down. Alright? Stop blabbering and let out what would you have us do?

This entire discussion is such a pain point.

And it’s showing. We hear you. Come to the turning point.

The turning point is fairly simple and right out there for everyone to see. All we need to do individually is: Take Ownership!

Detaching yourself and passing comments as a third person is the easiest way to live. But, honestly, that isn’t even living. It’s more like counterfeiting your own life and selling it to your own self. We are definitely better than this.

Get out there and claim responsibility. Talk, sing, act, write, work – do whatever you feel like doing, but play your part in everything that you already are an inevitable part of, whether you accept it or not. A plane cannot fly with one wing – be that missing wing and help us soar high together; instead of just pointing that lost wing to us and creating commotion about it.

Let’s just put an end to casual talk. All that gossip isn’t going to take us anywhere anyways. We are the building blocks of everything. Let’s work out ways to actually improve things.

Let’s play our parts. And no, just playing a disengaged extra isn’t going to cut it.

Happy living!